To: Howie Goldklang (Son in Law)
From: Mama in Law
Subject: Re:
Saturday 15th August

do you want the mew cd? someone from the label just gave it to me.
i opened o's pic at home and that computer is almost dead. it flashes yellow and blue. i ordered a new one from dell.

To: Allison (Daughter)
From: Ed (Dad)
Subject: So
Wednesday November 18th

What's up?

Do your kitties want Zhu Zhu hampsters for Channukah?

To: Sarah (Daughter)
From: Elaine (Mom)
Subject: re: People of Walmart
Thursday 15th October

Well thank you for that. I now have those gross images fixed in my brain. On the other hand, I suddenly feel good about myself....

To: Allison (Daughter)
From: Ruth (Mom)
Subject: xo
Monday October 20th

you are wonderful and I adore you!!!!!!!!
XO mama

To: Drea (Daughter)
From: Linda (Mom)
Subject: re: weekend
Monday October 19th

Amazing Race is still my favorite show and I wish you could get a job with them. What a way to see the world. Who is Reichen? The gay winner? My second favorite show is Brothers and Sisters, so you could work for them, too. I had to miss the first part of it last night because Amazing Race started over an hour late because CBS showed a stupid football game.

Did you see the picture I posted on Facebook?

Love, Gidget

To: Sarah (Daughter)
From: Elaine: (Mom)
Subject: I hear california has run out of money?
Wednesday 1st July

Hiya

So Arnie is now issuing IOUs to all and sundry. Interesting. It’s just like the West Wing!

To: Drea (Daughter)
From: Gidget (Mom)
Subject: Bevin's house
Tuesday July 13th

Got back from visiting your sister. On Sunday, we hiked the Appalachian trail to Anthony's nose overlooking the Hudson River. It was a very steep climb. Unlike me, Jade and Jack weren't even breathing hard. We brought Shea who loved playing with the 5 other dogs that were there. We ended the evening at their huge firepit.

There were thunderstorms on Monday, so we opted to go bowling. I had the high score!!! Your dad might never bowl again.

love,
Gidget

To: Allison (Daughter)
From: Ruth (Mom)
Subject: cats love me :)
Saturday 27th June

alli,

i was walking down huntington avenue to meet madeline for a walk, and a kitty was outside a house i passed.
i bent down to say hello, and it started to 'meow' and came over to me and was brushing contentedly against my legs and 'meowing' continuously.

maybe b/c i told the cat that i had a daughter who loves cats; that's what i told the cats in england. works like a charm.
hope you're having a fine weekend

XO mama cat

To: Art (Son)
From: Kobbie (Mom)
Subject: CNN Breaking News
Thursday 25th June

Not a good day - first Farah and now Michael.

A definite passing here of more than people. Indeed icons.

Wow.

To: Jake (Son)
From: Lynn (Mom)
Subject: Need Movie
Monday 18th May

Choke sounds like fun!
It's a movie.

SPECIAL ALLOWANCE FRIDAY!! EMAILS FROM YOUR DAD!

To: Sarah (Daughter)
From: Stephen (Dad)
Subject: It's raining kittens, just kittens
Friday 15th May

I suppose you have heard about the kittens? One came outside my bedroom window on Monday night followed by two more on Tuesday night , I’m sure the first one must have text the other two telling them what a great place our house was so now we have three kittens and one very jealous Willis, who is not at all keen on the new visitors(“Cat ignores owners”, see latest cat monthly). They eat like there is no tomorrow, they seem to like me but only when I have food , why is that? I have had to take out a loan to buy more cat food, Willis is also demanding more stroking time and attention to compensate for keeping the kittens(cat union rules No1015).I have taken some photos of the happy trio and will send you some soon .

We are having the most incredible Indian summer at the moment , it has not rained for at least 5 months and the temperature has been a constant 28c every day since April, very unusual , and very bad for farmers wanting to start sowing their crops it should rain by next Tuesday but the forecast is still for a dry

Season ahead. End of forecast.

Anyway take care and enjoy your stay in New York (y’know they call it the big apple? Why is that? Why not the Gala apple?

Love Dad xxxxxxxxxxxx

To: Jake (Son)
From: Lynn (Mom)
Subject: re:
Wednesday 29th April

Ellie's good--she sleeps with me. But daytime comes and she scratches furniture and gnaws on me. Then I have to give here a time out so she stops lying on my computer.

In my contacts, a little square comes up with your name and a taco star of david.

To: Paul (Son)
From: Fiona (Mom)
Subject: RE: Troy Terrace, Daglish
Monday 16th March

PS your rubbish will be collected on a Thursday - I have been looking at the City of Subiaco website.

mum

To: Art (Son)
From: Kobbie (Mom)
Subject: Thanks
Thursday 23rd April

****Oliver is the dog****

Hey buds!

How are you doing??

Weird to think your brother is 23… God, where does time go when it passes? I think it deserves a coffin and memorial service ‘cause I’m starting to mourn its passing more and more every day.

Want a fun visual? I had to break into the house and climb through a window this morning. But wait, it gets better. Dad dropped Oliver and I off about 3-miles from the house so early this morning it was still dark when we left (though not when we got home). We ran on the road, but then I decided that today we’d be adventurous and we branched off and went through the Cougar Mountain Reserve. Cool, right? Except it rained last night and there was mud and muck everywhere. We were both covered – I just laughed and said what the hell.

Until I got home and had to climb in a window.

Not wanting to ruin our very expensive paint job on the dining room walls – you guessed it, I had to strip down to my skivvies. Not fun. You see, normally, we remember to leave the garage door open when Dad drops us off on his way to work. This morning we forgot. And Dad was at the airport to catch an early morning flight, so it’s not like he could come back home to let us in.

Oh, well. Now I have a story to tell. Hope you enjoyed it. I’m not quite laughing, yet. I’ll give it a day; I’m sure I’ll come around.

Okay, I’m off.

LOVE YOU!

Mom.

To: Sarah (Daughter)
From: Elaine (Mom)
Subject: Your Dog Thingy
Date: Wednesday 15th April

At the moment I have one of those little battery operated fans going (hand bag size) cos it's so bloody HOT in here. I don't understand why, in a brand new building, they can't make the cool air flow onto me in my office and not just onto the books. Is it too much to ask that I can be COOL???? Sorry, but I am HOT, and not in a good way (although that's true too).

To: Lauren (Granddaughter)
From: Irene (Grandmother)
Subject: re:hi
Sunday 5th April 2009

yes, i understoood that yoiu were very busy. i was talking to 3 friends one at a time, your mother and your father. i don't usually hang on the phone very long except with bobby. we sometimes talk for two hours. i shall call you as soon as i've walked teddy. he had a bath yesterday with conditioner afterwards and he smells delicious. much love - grandma

SPECIAL FRIDAY ALLOWANCE! EMAILS FROM YOUR DAD!

To: Allison (Daughter), Ruth (Wife)

From: Edward (Dad)

Re: "GO RED FOR WOMEN"

Friday 6 February

I was just extorted for $5.00 for a little round pin and a stale piece of Danish. Is your heart so different from mine that your heart needs a special day and mine doesn't.



Allison emailed her dad back a response to this, and then he replied with:

I am wearing the button for fear of ostracism. The danish I gave away. Interestingly enough, a stale danish is one of the unhealthiest creatures on earth.

To: Howie (Son)
From: Shelley (Mom)
Re: tony stewart
Wednesday 22nd October

Howie,

Who is Tony Stewart?

To: Art (Son)
From: Kobbie (Mom)
Subject: re: Abuela
January 26th 2009

Hey buds –

We spent this past weekend up in Bellingham, Washington on a dog training clinic. It was intense. And, we discovered, Oliver is a very bad dog, indeed. Oh, a lovable little guy – LOVES everyone and everything – but he thinks every molecule of the universe is his. He's willing to share, but it's his. He rules. This is going to be a very hard concept to drill out of him, though he came close to learning it. Every time he got near a male dog, they'd growl, grumble and one went so far to bite him. I, of course, freaked out – but we were to blame. We had to take a doggy time-out. And, they're right, Oliver did go up to him and try to sniff/play – encroached on "his" space. But, jeez. Needless to say, was not the weekend I was expecting.

Miss you, buds – hope you're feeling grand!

Love you,

Mom.

To: Jake (Son)
From: Lynn (Mom)
Subject: Fwd: Funny Photos
January 12th 2009

HAHA

YOU LOOK STONED. Thanx for the laugh!

Love,
Mom

To: Allison (Daughter)

From: Ruth (Mom)

Subject: feline-human attraction

Tuesday 13 January

Alli,

Maybe there's hope for the future for me and your little girls. When I cared for Jane's cats this past weekend, they greeted me and one was definitely receptive to petting, if not quite purring.

And this afternoon I stopped at Sprainbrook Nursery (for their two for price of one flowering cyclamen) and they have a LARGE short-haired black cat with a bewitching white patch on its throat. He/or she only had eyes for me....not that there were many customers. But we had eye contact and the cat kept coming back for more stroking.

When do you actually switch offices?......if you're too busy, you really don't have to stop to tell me now. Just reporting in on my kitty-progress.

xo mama

To: Sam (Son)
From: Barbara (Mom)
Subject: The Reviews are in!
Thursday 8 January

California Chronicle: A Romp in the Park
California Chronicle - Los Angeles,CA,USA
The part of Corie Bratter, the effervescent bride, is zestfully played by former model, Abigail Kochunas. She brings breathless energy to the part even ...
See all stories on this topic

Bloggers Note: This was fwd to Sam after his mom tried to convince him to meet up with the daughter (who is an actress) of a friend of hers. He wasn't sold on the original pitch so she thought the review from California Chronicle might help.

From: Gidget (mom)
To: Drea (daughter)
Subject: birthday
Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Andrea,

Since your birthday is on Sat. this year, will you have time for a party? As I recall, you were born on a Sat., so we had to reschedule a planned dinner party. You just couldn't wait.

Love, Gidget